Berating myself

So I’m fine, I can function, I can forget about it until Wednesday night. Wednesday, I have an awful nights sleep worrying about having to see him. Thursday, I get up and go to the lecture and avoid eye contact at all cost.

But I can constantly feel his gaze and throughout the lecture I seem to get myself more and more wound up. Then comes the second lecture, by which point I don’t actually know what’s going on in the lecture.

I’m so cross with myself, and I realise I haven’t been on a night out since this all happened. The one time I put myself out there it ended badly, and to make matters worse the guy is on my bloody course. I just want to say well done Chloe, you know how to fuck up really well.