8 December 2009
He’s on my mind lately. To be honest he’s never really gone from my mind.
You know the one, that ex that you wonder if things could have been different with. If only you’d tried. If only he’d tried. If only you’d have had the guts to let go of your pride and admit to the downfalls you each made.
But it’s not so much the past that’s playing on my mind.
Two days and I’ll see him again. That vengeful part of me is already plotting how amazing I can make myself look in order to make him drool and realise what he’s let go. I’m planning that entrance, with my perfect hair, perfect outfit, perfect make-up.
How damn pathetic I am!
I’m not saying I shouldn’t be planning my look, but surely it should be in hopes of enticing a new good looking boy who’s interested in me. No, I’m getting myself worked up over an Ex that has more than likely moved on without me around.
I think I’m realising that I’ve not quite let go of him yet. Out of sight, out of mind, I know. But as soon as he pops up again my brain is working overtime about him.
Maybe it’s because I haven’t really found anyone since him, and I wanted so bad to make it work that time.
Or maybe it’s because I keep trying to fool my feelings into thinking I didn’t really care at all. Admit it and let go.
Damn! That’s easier said than done!
Filed under Life, Realisations, Relationships
Tags: Breakup, Boyfriend, Life, work, Relationships, split, care, think, Move on, past, mind, feelings, perfect, feel, different, look, ex-boyfriend, feeling, gone, outfit, admit, amazing, hope, the ex, ex, make-up, let go, hair, plan, easier, pathetic, interest, reunion, tried, pride, downfall, see, vengeful, plot, drool, entrance, entice, good looking boy, sight, brain, overtime, fool
25 November 2009
I knew as soon as I walked away from that place for this one, I’d be leaving her behind. Somehow I still thoguht things would be okay. I thought we were good enough friends for her to want to keep in touch.
It hurts to realise she’s not.
I know she tries, but she tells me to text her, I do, and she never replies.
I don’t know whether we’ve just got a whole lot of misunderstandings or whether this distance between us makes her forget about me.
It’s difficult to find some kind of balance in this situation. I miss her, but I love being here and yet she won’t come to visit me even though I’ll go home to see her.
I’m sounding pathetic I realise, but she’s been such a big part of my life, that it feels strange when your best friend isn’t there anymore.
I don’t have anyone to tell everything to. I miss it.
I miss her, but I don’t think she misses me.
Filed under Life, Realisations, friendship
Tags: Love, Life, friendship, friends, home, there, leaving, miss you, leave, best friend, forget, text, try, miss, reply, no, difficult, walk away, best friends, pathetic, strange, tell, okay, leave behind, keep in touch, misunderstanding, distance, situation, visit, big part of my life, isn't there, I miss you, miss me
25 November 2009
Dream guy? I’ve been waiting
Now I’m ready for participating
So stop taking your time.
Dream guy? With your hair dark as night
or blonde as morning light
You’ll tower slightly over my middle height
and you won’t be able to deny that this isn’t right.
Dream guy? With a taste for fashion
You won’t be able to hide your passion
you’ll drown me in compassion
and I’ll fall so deep.
Dream guy? With a smile that makes me weak
When will it be my heart you seek
to be with every day of the week
Please, speak.
Dream guy? Does my wishing make you real
Do my dreams really hold appeal
Somehow this just feels so surreal
But I just want my heart to feel.
Filed under Life, Poetry, Relationships
Tags: Love, Life, Relationships, dream, heart, time, Poetry, dreams, waiting, night, light, right, wish, real, feel, speak, smile, dreaming, guy, wait, hold, week, fall, drown, stop, participate, take, fashion, please, passion, seek, weak, deep, dream guy, dark, blonde, height, deny, compassion, wishing, make, appeal, surreal, hearts